I will never forget the early hours of divorce, the severe sense of overwhelm and shock. I had absolutely no appetite, could barely form a sentence let alone sleep. Yet there I was out in public far too fragile to function with day-to-day efforts of grocery shopping and middle school music concerts. 

Sobbing as if someone had died, I sat in a legal office trying to interpret paperwork that read from a far-off unfamiliar land. I wanted my back against the chair for support, yet to do so my feet wouldn’t touch the floor. My thoughts swirled in layer and layer of confusion.

I watched him sit there with a blank look on his face and a calm, professional voice. My soon-to-be Ex, how could he be so mellow at a time like this? He asked me for divorce 20 yrs and two children later.

I was all over the place knee deep in emotion of grief, anger, hurt and shame. Divorce happened to the other 50%.

I had never heard of a Divorce Coach. Yet a lot of what I did on instinct I have come to learn is in fact what a Divorce Coach does: unearthing clarity, confidence, and courage, looking at challenges, wants, and obstacles. A Divorce Coach helps you understand your mindset so you can keep expanding. 

While it might seem narrow now, I promise life is not over!

But how am I different from the numerous coaches in your internet search? Metaphor when it matters most sprinkled in with a bird’s eye view… oh and a big dose of YOU GOT THIS!
Listening to the tap on my shoulder… picking up the paintbrush, after the hike howled and melted the flesh of life. Devastation acknowledged yes; I had accidentally given up passion for the purpose of maintaining family.

As the bones became exposed, it was my time to Fall, to Flow and then Flourish.

From Day One, I could picture my children as grown-up adults out for a lovely dinner with their colleagues. The white linen candle lit atmosphere of quiet music and captivating conversation. My daughter leans in as her colleagues become engaged, she’s wearing her pastel cashmere sweater with string of pearls while the candle glow warms her profile, “When my parents got divorced my mom…..”

How that sentence ends begins is where you are right now…. Would I want my daughter to say my mom became an angry alcoholic, hiding her emotions always around different men never showing up for my concert or birthday celebration… or my mom showed me on even her most difficult day(s) how to stand up, dust herself off and work to transform towards the vision of her best future self?

I am here to tell you, some days and some moments are not easy yet with the right inner tools and outer support you can weather this storm. You can learn the business of divorce while rediscovering parts of yourself that you accidentally left behind.